LIFE AFTER DIVORCE FOR BLACK WOMEN 50+
DR. JITE · LIFE COACH & EDUCATOR
Especially in the grey area after the divorce is final, when the paperwork is done and everybody has gone back to their lives, but you are still standing in your kitchen at 7 p.m. asking what you even want for dinner, let alone the next ten years.
You thought you'd know.
Instead, you're looking at the house and wondering if you still want to live there.
You're thinking about leaving a six-figure career everyone else thinks you're lucky to have.
When the marriage ended, you wondered whether you would want another relationship at all, and what your life would look like if you did not.
Saturday comes and nobody needs you anywhere. By 10 a.m., you are already looking for something useful to do so the day does not feel empty.
Having more choices doesn't mean you know what you want.
Some of what made sense ten or twenty years ago still makes sense now. Some of it doesn't. And there are things you haven't thought about in years because you didn't need to.
Now you do.
“There's another level of who you are, and you already know it.”
— Racquel L., past client
COACHING FOR BLACK WOMEN 50+ AFTER DIVORCE
Your divorce has been final for six months and people have stopped asking how you're doing.
Your child moved out and has a life of their own now.
Or you finally have the title and salary you worked years for and you're sitting at your desk thinking, I cannot do this for another ten years.
You know what changed.
What you may not know yet is what you want now.
And sometimes that surprises you.
You thought you'd know what came next after the divorce. You thought you'd know what you'd do when the kids were grown. You spent years working toward this point in your career.
Now you're here.
You may know exactly what you don't want and still have no idea what you do want. Or you may know and be trying to figure out what you're going to do about it.
This is the part I work with.
I help you look at what's happening in your life now, what you're starting to notice, and choose what you want from here without constantly second-guessing yourself.
I've spent over a decade researching how equity gets created in education, and I bring that same rigor here. I've coached women across the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Nigeria.
I'm in this part of life too. Some of these are questions I'm asking myself.
Free Resources
Three ways to see what the divorce or another major life transition showed you before you decide anything else.
FREE · ON-DEMAND
SELF-PACED AUDIO + VIDEO TRAINING
Discover the three body signals that appear before your Automatic Yes, why your body answers before your mind, and the two-second window where you can interrupt it.
Someone asks you for something. Your chest tightens, you smile, and “sure” is already coming out even though you don't want to do it.
FREE · LIVE MASTERCLASS
LIVE ON ZOOM · DECEMBER 6
Your marriage or long-term relationship ended. Maybe it was months ago. Maybe it's been years.
But now that you're no longer living inside it, there are things you can see that you couldn't see then.
Maybe you kept accepting something you knew you didn't like. Maybe you stopped saying what you really thought. Maybe you kept giving it more time, hoping something would change.
This masterclass is about looking at what you were doing, accepting, or participating in and deciding what you want to do differently now.
FREE · PDF GUIDE
INSTANT DOWNLOAD · PDF
A simple plan for when you don't know what to do next.
It doesn't matter if this happened yesterday or years ago. If today feels like one of those days all over again, this is for you.
You've told the story to three people, gotten three different opinions, and you're still sitting there thinking, “Okay, but what do I actually do now?”
WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE
FORMER 1:1 CLIENT
“There's another level of who you are. And doing this work helped me see that. I opened myself up to love again. Got married. Wrote my first book.”
— RACQUEL L., PAST CLIENT
FORMER 1:1 CLIENT
“I realized how much of a people pleaser I had become. What I am about to do is good for me — but why does it feel so difficult? That question changed everything.”
— PAST CLIENT
CURRENT 1:1 CLIENT
“I thought I needed to pick one thing to work on. What I actually needed was someone who could support me through this and help me see what to focus on and in what order.”
— CURRENT 1:1 CLIENT
THE PROGRAMS
Three ways to work with me, depending on what is happening in your life right now.
$47
A self-paced workbook + guided audio experience for the moment when you know what you want to say, but start questioning whether what you want is enough.
You may already know your answer.
ENOUGH helps you look at what happens before you change it.
$47 · Lifetime Access
EXPLORE ENOUGH$750
6-WEEK LIVE GROUP COACHING · FIVE WOMEN
For Black women 50+ whose life changed and who do not want to spend another year trying to recreate the old normal.
Your divorce is final, but you're still living in the house you chose when you were married and you're not sure you want it anymore.
Your kids are grown and suddenly nobody needs to know what you're making for dinner.
Or the career you've had for 25 years doesn't fit anymore, and you have no idea what you'd do instead.
UNLOCKED is six weeks of live coaching with five women who understand.
We look at what this change has brought up for you, what you've been avoiding, and the decisions you need to make about what comes next.
$750 OR 2 PAYMENTS OF $375
RESERVE YOUR SEAT$1,000
4 PRIVATE COACHING SESSIONS · 8–12 WEEKS
Private coaching for the woman whose relationships, work, money, decisions, and what comes next are all connected.
You want to leave the career, but that changes your income.
Now you're thinking about the house.
Your marriage ended, and you're wondering whether you're really willing to change everything else at once.
You don't have to pick one thing and pretend the others aren't happening.
We look at all of it together and decide what you should focus on first.
Limited to 2 spots per month.
$1,000 · PAYMENT PLAN AVAILABLE
I NEED SOMEONE WHO SEES ALL OF ITABOUT
FOUNDER, UNPERFORMED
My mom loved me in the way she knew how, but somewhere along the way, I learned that love had to be earned. I learned that I had to be more, do more and achieve more to be worthy of being liked, and not just loved, but actually liked.
So I got a lot of degrees and worked hard going after the things I thought would prove I was enough.
For a long time, there was always something else to go after. Another degree, another goal, something else I could accomplish. When so much of how you feel about yourself gets connected to what you achieve, there's always another opportunity to prove yourself.
I'm in my 50s now, and that's significant to me. My son is grown. I've been in education for decades, and going after the next achievement doesn't automatically answer the question of what I want anymore.
And that's where my story connects with the women I work with.
Your marriage has ended. Your children are grown and living their own lives. You have spent twenty or twenty-five years in a career that does not fit the way it used to. You may have done a lot of what you set out to do and still find yourself wondering what you want this part of your life to look like.
I understand that question differently now because I'm asking some of it too.
I don't need to make everything I did before wrong. I worked hard for my life, and I'm proud of a lot of it. I'm interested in what happens when you get here and realize the things that drove you for years don't necessarily get to decide what you do next.
That's where my work is now. I help Black women 50+ choose what's next after divorce. The work is choosing what comes next without second-guessing yourself or recreating the old normal.
That's where UNPERFORMED came from.
PROFESSIONAL BIO
Dr. Jite has spent over a decade conducting research in STEM education, specifically on how culturally relevant teaching creates equitable learning environments for Black and Brown students who have historically been excluded from these fields, and how representation in STEM gets created deliberately.
She brings that same rigor to her coaching work.
She works with clients across the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Nigeria. She speaks several languages, is an avid reader, and runs marathons across different continents.
Every week I write about this part of life. What happens after the divorce is final, the kids have their own lives, or the career you've spent years in starts to feel different.
Sometimes I write about the bigger decisions. Other times it's something small you notice yourself doing that makes you wonder how long you've been doing it.
Mostly, I'm interested in the question that comes after something changes: What do I want now?
UNPERFORMED goes out on Substack. New videos go up on YouTube.
I help Black women 50+ choose what's next after divorce.
A divorce may be what brought you here. Another change may have brought you here too. The work is deciding what comes next without automatically recreating what came before.
We start with where you are now.